I Remember When I Saw Stars
by Slikny
Summary: When I was younger, my father had told me that my mother had died. He fell asleep on the couch crying while I had gone to get ramen. I'm going to say that my mother dying was a good thing, or else I could never know that the sun is also a star. (discountinued)
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: This will include vulgar language, violence, and other themes of mental illness, I warn you now if you get triggered by these things that you should stop now. **

**I would appreciate if any of you would favorite this story, and write your reviews, and anything you think I should change or try to edit. **

_Chapter 1 _

I remember when I was younger, my father had come back from seeing the Hokage, and I knew, at the age of 7 that something was terribly wrong. I was never really good at reading expressions, but from all of the books I had read, and all of the pictures, I knew that he was sad, in despair one could say. I had tilted my head up at him, staring up at his despaired features, his dirty blonde hair disheveled, and his bright green eyes teary. It was actually beautiful I would think. His bright green eyes seemed neon as the light hit them, and his blonde streaks of his hair glowing in the light. All of his freckles gone, there were no things wrong with him right now.

I know, crude to say that his freckles were a flaw, but I had inherited them from him and I didn't like mine, the way that they covered my face, that's the only thing people could look at, my face. They couldn't just look off to the side of my face, staring off behind me. Or even they could look at the floor. Or they could look at my outfit, which my mother chose out for me, sometimes my dad. Why couldn't people concentrate on just anything but me?

To get back on topic, my dad, running into our simple house with tears streaking his face, adding another glimmer to his face in the light. "Your mother..." he had managed to choke out first, coming down onto his knees to get down to my level, "on her last mission, she and Kyu..." Kyu was our dog, my mom had him since before I was born, he was her ninken, coming from the Inuzuka clan. "They died." My had had sobbed out finally.

It had taken him long enough.

Although, surprisingly enough I had just stared at my dad blankly with green eyes that I had gained from my father. I had tried to cry, I knew I should cry, but I didn't. I loved my mother. I really did, but I just didn't care. "Oh," came my blank response. I didn't really know what to think, and I was starting to feel awkward at the moment. I guess I could be sad about not a lot of money coming in, as my dad worked as a shopkeeper. "How did they die?" I had questioned.

My dad seemed a bit surprised that I wasn't crying, and at my question, I had only stared at him blankly as he thought of a way to explain it in a way that I would understand it. "She got killed. while she was on a mission." He had explained, taking a deep breath afterwards, and choking down the lump in his throat.

"Oh." I said blankly, yet again not knowing what to say. I stared at my dad. I loved him too, but I feel like I would feel the same if he were to die as well. Although I did feel bad about Kyu dying. He was a big black and white dog that always slept in my bed with me at night. His warmth kept me asleep and the nightmares, and his snores let me know I wouldn't be hurt in the middle of the night.

My dad stared at me, still crying, but he seemed horrified by how unphased I was by the fact that I had just learned that my mother died. I can still remember her, looking like the basic Inuzuka, of course with the 2 red triangles on her cheeks, and her thick, brown hair. Although she was special in a way, having obtained gray eyes instead of the regular dark brown. They were pretty, like two little moons residing in her skull. Sure, that is harsh wording, but it was the truth to me. I sadly did not obtain the two moons within my skull. I instead only got tiny little gray rocks within a bright green field. The only thing I had gotten from my mother was my chakra control and strength, as well as her muddy brown hair.

I did not obtain her wit, nor her charm. I was merely a blank slate.

My father didn't say anything after this, as he got up and laid on the couch. My stomach grumbled, but I put up with it, I wasn't too hungry after all. I thought for a moment, maybe I would be able to get something to eat after all. I walked into my room.

My room was pretty blank, with a bed, with purple sheets and a white blanket. I had a lamp with a white shade atop a bedside table. I had a purple mat atop my wood flooring. Across my bed that sat in the corner was a shelving unit. On it was a family picture, another lamp, and my piggybank. Sitting in front of my bed was a desk that had, yet another lamp, and a cup filled with pencils and a few pens.

Standing up on my tip toes I reach up and grab my piggybank. I knew that I had a few Ryo in there, and opening it from the bottom, I pull out a few bills. This should be enough for some food. I walk out of my room, my dad crying on the couch. I look over towards him, "I'm heading out for some food." I state blankly. He doesn't respond. So, I take my leave and break in the cool night air.

I had gone down the path towards the restaurant district, looking at all of the shining lights, and smelling all of the good food. I then saw a little shop, and then smell of broth and noodles wafting over to me. I walked over to it, right there, there was already a young boy. He looked to be about my age, with bright blonde hair as he waited for his ramen to be prepped.

I sit down at the stool next to him, as next to him was the closest one to the exit. "One Miso ramen please," I ask, reading the prices quickly. I then analyzed the boy next to me. I had seen him before, and for some reason none of the kids liked him. I didn't know why. He had bright blonde hair, and I couldn't really see the color of his eyes. Although his skin was sun kissed.

The old man, in other words, the owner of the restaurant brought his Miso ramen over and the boy looked up excitedly, and I saw his blue eyes flash excitedly. I stared at him, he had no markings on his face, and he wore a white T-shirt and shorts and sandals.

He then spotted me, he looked surprised at first and then his brows furrowed, "what are you staring at?" He questions, glaring at me with mistrust.

"You," I stated bluntly, wondering why he was angry at me, although, soon enough the old man had brought me my ramen and I started eating.

"I've never seen you before," I the boy stated, a bit incredulous. Looking over at me, slurping up his ramen.

"Well then I guess you didn't look hard enough," I retorted looking back at him with sharp green eyes. He looked back at me a bit surprised, surprised that I had even responded.

"Well, why don't you go out more?" He questions. Staring at me curiously, his tone getting kinder.

"Why are you asking all of these questions?" I ask, staring at him blankly, taking another bite of the ramen, which actually was pretty good I had to say.

"Because you're actually talking to me, duh!" He laughs out, grinning at me with the happiest smile I had ever seen. I was nice to see someone smile at me; in the way he just did.

"Well, I don't know why anyone else wouldn't talk to you," I respond blandly, smiling a bit.

"Well, I don't know why either, for some reason people don't like me." He sighs sadly, looking down at the table.

"Well, you seem like a good person to me," I state, continuing to eat my ramen.

"Say- what's your name, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to become the next Hokage!" He states, pointing a thumb into his chest. As he made his announcement, he spit on me a bit. "When I become Hokage, people are finally going to respect me!"

"Noble goal, well I am Suzuki Honoko. Either way, you don't need to become Hokage for respect, because I'll say that I already respect you," I had stated, maybe that would make him shut up, giving him what he wanted.

Alas, when you give a dog food, it will always want more. I saw his eyes light up, the brightest they've ever been as they illuminated against the lanterns hanging above, he grinned at me, the happiest I've ever seen someone. "You really think that!?" He had questioned me happily.

I then found my eyes widening with surprise, and my heart fluttered a bit, staring at everything around me. The blinking lights, the bustling people. Although, my eyes kept on wandering back to one thing, the stars illuminating the night sky, I have seen them before, and I never knew them so beautiful, and then as I look back at Naruto, I saw something that was even brighter than the stars.

I saw the sun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: Thank you all for the favorite's a reviews, and I felt motivated to make another chapter after going back and fixing the mistakes that those of you pointed out were in the previous chapter. So here you are with another chapter, as well as a cover. **

**I hope you enjoy, and review, follow, and like this story!**

_Chapter 2_

Me and Naruto spoke sometimes, and my father had somewhat gotten over my mother's death. I got some of her things, like clothes, and Kyu's collar in her will, and probably a sum of money. I had gone to the park sometimes, only to sit on the swing next to Naruto's, or play in the sandbox with him.

Then I started to hear whispers about myself. About how I spoke with the demon boy and told the other kids to keep away from me. It was strange, I didn't like them. One day, while me and Naruto were making sandcastles, I filled my shovel up with sand. Putting a finger over my lips and shushing Naruto. I quietly got up from the sand and quietly walked up behind a boy. I then dumped the sand on his head. Staring down at the boy blankly with green eyes. He yelled a bit, from all of the sand being dumped on his head.

The boy had whipped around and glared at me with harsh hazel eyes. "What did you do that for?" He cried out, his mother immediately coming up and walking over to him at his cries.

"What did you do to my little boy?" She screamed, aiming it at Naruto. I didn't appreciate that, giving Naruto credit for my idea.

"Hey lady, it was me that did that!" I shouted at her, giving her a harsh glare. "It wasn't Naruto's idea, it was mine, and he's not a demon!" I state, looking up at her with my arms crossed. Naruto stayed at the sidelines and watched this, in somewhat awe at me sticking up for him.

"Come on, Naruto, let's go!" I state, already walking away from the crying boy, and the steaming mother. Naruto quickly catches up to me.

"Why did you do that? You could have gotten in big trouble; you should have just let me take the blame!" Naruto complained, looking a bit worried.

"Well it was my idea, and it wasn't yours, it was mine. So, I took credit for it," I stated bluntly, crossing my arms as we walked. I still hadn't introduced Naruto to my dad, not that quite sure as to how he would react. Considering how all of the villagers react to Naruto around, and the fact that my dad was a common person, I decided that right now it wouldn't be a good idea.

I've told my dad stories of Naruto, but never said any names, or descriptions. Except that he looks like the sun. Which is right, with bright blonde hair, and bright blue eyes representing the sky, his skin possibly looking like a sunset. I'd say that Naruto is an accurate description of the sun, or even possibly the sky.

I've never really had any friend's before, so when I told my dad that I had a friend ( I considered Naruto my friend at this point), he was ecstatic, and asked a lot of questions. Although, I didn't answer all of them. He stayed off my back about them, not wanting to change my mind about having a friend.

So, I lived on, having adventured with Naruto, and meeting my cousins from my mother's side, the Inuzuka. I had shared my dreams with Naruto, albeit, I didn't really have any, but ever since learning that Naruto wanted to become Hokage, I decided that I would help him until I found my purpose. Although maybe it was just power. Yeah, power of others, holding fear in my hands. I liked the way that sounded.

So, as me and Naruto departed from the park, I thought for a moment, glancing at the happy blonde boy walking beside me. My birthday was coming up, and I didn't exactly have anyone else to invite to my birthday party, except for relatives. So, I let out a breath, actually a bit nervous at the moment, what if he didn't want to come to my birthday party. "Do- do you want to come to my birthday party?" I question, although I quickly add, "only if you want to!"

I saw Naruto's eyes light up in that moment, "Would I? I would love you! Believe it!" He yells, jumping up into the air, fist bumping the sky. I smiled; I was going to like my 8th birthday party. Before, I normally only had my cousin's over, but this time I had Naruto to come to my birthday part, my (essentially) first friend ever.

Me and Naruto had split after that, we had talked a little bit about the party. I had gone home to my father, who had just gotten home from work. He worked as a supplier of ninja gear; it was a good business considering how many ninjas were in the village. He was writing out some paperwork about the needed stocks and how much everything everything would cost and how they would price everything in the shops. It was a confusing, and repetitive business that I did not want to get into.

"I invited my friend to my birthday party!" I announced with a grin as I entered the house. My dad looked up at me and smiled.

"That's good honey, but now that he's coming over, why don't you tell me more about him?" He questioned, tilting his head to the side a bit as he sat up in his chair after haunching over his paperwork all day.

I sat down at the table and gave a bit of a sigh. Resting my head in my hand, I look up at my father with a bit of fear and nervousness. "Well. He is blonde, and he has blue eyes." I start off my explanation by describing his looks.

"No, no, you don't have to describe what he looks like, you can just tell me his name," he laughs a bit, also propping his head up on the table with his hand.

"Well, his name is Naruto," I state, staring at my father for a moment, awaiting his reaction. He seemed a bit worried, although a bit relieved at the same time.

"Suzuki, I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay?" My dad states, in a relatively hushed tone. "I think you me know this by now, but Naruto. he isn't liked by a lot of people in Konoha, and that may reflect onto you, okay?" My dad states gently, staring into my grassy green eyes.

"I know," I state, shrugging my shoulders and rolling my eyes a bit. Looking at my dad a bit unphased.

He seemed a bit flabbergasted for a moment, and then relied seemed to hit him, "That's good darling, that's good. Although, I don't want you to get in trouble with him, okay?" He questions, I smirk a bit and nod in response.

"Okay," I give a mischievous grin and stand up and go to my room. I went into my room and walked over to my desk. I had gotten a few books and notebooks earlier in the year, but I never had any other use for them. Although now, I have a use for them.

While me and Naruto were walking around today throughout the village, we had passed by the academy. A place for aspiring Shinobi to train and become ninja. We had spotted some students that were already there practicing basic techniques. We weren't there yet because we still had to be admitted and such, and also allow the current students to leave and make more room in the academy, so that the oldest kids could train in the summer and early August and then graduate into their teams around fall.

Although, I had seen them doing a technique. It was interesting to me really. I had seen them sticking leaves to their body parts with help of the chakra. I knew for a fact that I wanted to become a ninja, a powerful ninja at that, so I had to have as many skills as I could possibly get before joining the academy. I had about 20 days to train and then it was off to the academy for formal training, why not be ahead of everyone else?

I had pulled out a piece of paper from the notebook and ripped it apart into smaller pieces. I didn't really know how to do it, but I kind of guessed that I just had to concentrate on the area I wanted it to stick? I had seen my mom walk up trees and across water, and I asked her how and she did it. She had responded saying that she concentrated really hard.

So, I'm pretty sure that's how you do it. So I stuck a piece of paper to the top of my hand, and concentrated on my chakra, swirling inside of me, then I slowly turned my hand, and watched sadly as the paper fluttered down to the floor. I puffed out my cheeks, irritated that I had to do it again, but I tried once again.

I continued the practice for over an hour, until finally, it stuck!

I had hung out with Naruto the next day, telling him all about how I had stuck the paper to my hand. While we played near the forest in the park, I plucked a leaf off of the ground and slapped it onto my forehead and concentrated on that one spot, and it stuck! I was so happy, I grinned at Naruto happily.

"Woah! How did you do that?" He had questioned, smiling brightly staring at the leaf stuck to my forehead with wide eyes.

"Well, I just concentrated really hard," I stated proudly crossing my arms. Although, as I held the leaf to my forehead with my chakra, I felt it depleting. I tried keeping the leaf to my forehead longer, but it sadly falls off. I stare down at the leaf sadly that had just fallen to the ground, disappointed. Although then, Naruto picks it up.

"Let me try!" He states with a grin, sticking it to his forehead, but it doesn't stay up as gravity catches up with it. I stuck my tongue out at him, and blew a raspberry at him, and he pouts a bit. "So, when is your party going to be?" He questions, tilting his head at me. I think he was the only one that was allowed to look me in the eyes.

"Well, it was actually going to be today." I state sheepishly, blushing a bit that I had forgotten that date of my own birthday party.

"What? Why didn't you tell me? I need to get you a gift!" He shouts as he runs off towards the city. I reach out to grab him by the shirt, and tell him not to get me anything, but he is already gone by the time I reach him. I sigh with a bit of a laugh and a begin to walk home.

Whenever I get home, I see my dad who happily grins at me, "Happy Birthday Princess!" He picks me up in a ug, to which I hug him back happily. My dad's hugs were nice, they were warm. He set me down gently. "Kiba will be over soon, do you know when Naruto will be over?" He questioned, getting down to my level. I didn't like the fact he always had to get back down to my level.

Although, I had paused for a moment as I thought about his question. I never told Naruto my address. I then voiced my thoughts, "I never told Naruto where I live." I stated quietly, looking down at the floor.

"Well then we'll find him, how about you go out and look for him, and I'll wait here for you, alright?" My dad states in a rhetorical question.

I nod to him and I put my shoes back on and I quickly leave the house. I quickly rush into town, thinking about where Naruto would be. He doesn't have a lot of money, so it had to be somewhere cheap. Not a lot of people served Naruto when he tried to enter their shops, so there were select places.

I then, soon heard his voice through all of the crowds of people, him shouting, "Come on, just let me in! I need to buy a gift for my friend!" He cried, holding his money pouch that was in the shape of a frog that got fatter with more money you 'fed' it (put money in it).

"Naruto!" I called out to him, waving at him with a pale, freckled hand at him.

"H-hey Sh-Shizuku!" Naruto stutters out nervously. I panted out a bit, as I had run over to him when I head his voice. "What are you doing here?" He questions nervously.

"I had forgotten to uh. tell you my address," I laugh a bit awkwardly.

"And I- uh, forgot to ask what you wanted...?" Naruto asks, grinning sheepishly at me.

"You don't have to get me anything, just get me a cool rock or something and let's go, I need to take you to my house!" I laugh, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. As I pulled him away, I could hear the shop owner letting out sighs and shouts of relief that Naruto was gone.

Naruto quickly swipes a rock up off of the ground, and follows after me, never letting go of my hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: As some of you may have noticed, Suzuki is a bit of a prodigy for her age and I want to attempt to do this sort of thing. Please warn me if I make her too prodigious because I just want to make her a little ahead of everyone else, a bit around or a little above Sasuke. If I go above my limits, please tell me so I can fix that. **

_Chapter 3_

I had practiced working and studying more. I had read the books that I was given for my birthday. I feel like I was completely prepared to go to the academy. I had practiced chakra control. I had practiced my kanji and had a good amount of them memorized from my books, and could write them out a bit, albeit a bit messily, but I feel like I did good for someone my age.

I had also practiced more with my chakra control, to which I was doing well, I think. I had no one to fix me if I'm wrong, as I know my dad doesn't really know these sorts of things. I had showed Naruto, but he also doesn't really know this. All I could do was ask Kiba, to which he only knows the basic leaf practices, the ones I just practice.

I ran around in the woods when I could, played tag at the park. I did pushups in my room while my dad was a work. I did curl ups. Anything I could do to become stronger, as by myself I was not that strong in general. I tried doing as many one-armed push-ups as I could while practicing one handed hand signs in the other sign behind my back.

It was rigorous but I needed it, and I needed it bad. I trained so much I didn't even feel like I needed to eat. When I did eat, I had some tea, rice, and whatever leftover meats we had in the fridge. It was fun, and every time I laid in the bed, I could feel the pain pulsing through my muscles from the soreness.

Although, I had noticed, in the year that I had lost my mother and Kyu, I hadn't really been able to sleep. I was getting tired and tired a lot lately. I was never able to sleep to be honest. I would just lay in my bed and staring at the wall. I wasn't scared of the dark, because my room was already pitch black and I couldn't sleep with any sort of light. I always wondered what it was. So, I didn't mind the lack of sleep I was having and continued by workout in the night until I simply passed out on the floor.

One day, my dad had walked in while I was passed out on the floor. He had the day off today, so he was going to wake me up so that we could spend the day together since he's had to work a lot lately to make up for the income we're loosing from my mother dying. We did get compensation from the village and we spent it slowly on helping with rent, but overall didn't spend it too much.

"Suzu..." I woke up from hearing his voice and feeling him shake me awake. I groaned a bit and turned towards the light of one of my lamps being turned on.

"What?" I questioned with a groan, still not managing to peel my heavy eyelids open. My muscle's even sorer from last night. I groaned out again as I finally open my eyes too see the worried green gaze of my father above me.

"Why did I find you sprawled out on the floor?" He questioned, raising a brow down at me. I hated it, he talked like I was a baby, I was 8 years old! He could stop with the baby voice already!

"Well, I'm training," I huff as I sit up, hissing in pain a bit at my entire body yells at me with soreness from sitting up. "To become a ninja," I state. I never actually brought it up with my father that I was become a ninja, I just assumed I was going to become one.

My father sighed and looked down at the floor. "Suzuki... I'm sorry to say this, but I knew it would have come up eventually, but you can't." He states firmly, still in the child voice. Although, I wasn't mad about him using his child voice on me, I was mad about the fact I couldn't become a ninja!

"What do you mean no?" I question with anger threaded in my tone. I glared at my dad with harsh green eyes. Clenching my teeth together and my brows furrowed." I've been training for this for so long and you tell me no?" I question, raising my brows at him, sitting up in front of him.

"Well, Suzuki, no means no. I've thought about this ever since your mother died, and I don't want you to die like she did," he states softly. Looking at me with sad green eyes. I couldn't stand to look at his stupid freckled face.

I clench my teeth and quickly retort, "I've been training night and day for this, I can control my chakra, I can last hours doing laps, and playing tag, and exercising!" I defended angrily.

"I don't care how much you have been training, no means no. Your mother was a strong kunoichi but did that stop her from being killed out on the battlefield, no!" He retorts back, concluding the conversation by standing up and walking out the door.

My eyes followed him as he exited the room, my eyes burning with hate. I had no other goal right now. Although, my only goal was to become a ninja, no matter what it took. The academy was going to start in a few days. I would be sent there for basic learning until I was 16 and then I would be expected to be a villager.

I wasn't going to do that. Yes, of course I had to go to school, but I was going to become a ninja, no matter what it took. I just need to think, and to strategize. I had a feeling my dad would just be working in the kitchen. So, I had gathered a towel from the closet, and started the hot water. Some would say that I'm being immature about this, but what can you say, I am 8 years old.

I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and I was going to do it. So, setting the towel on the floor. I concentrated on my aching feet and stepped onto the water. Only for it to slip through. I sigh, disappointed, but then I tried my other foot, still no results. Sitting down in the tub that was slowly filling with water, I came up with a strategy.

So, in general, my plan consisted of a lot of training, by a lot, I mean A LOT, a behemoth of training, training in the form of an absolute unit! My plan was to one, prove to my father that I was strong and could become a ninja. I could also bring up how my mother died. Which I don't actually know, just while she was on the job.

My father never told me, and I had to know, I had to find out. So, the best place I thought I could look was the library. That could be a place that allows you to read documents, and bingo books. I'm pretty sure that's what it was called, bingo books. The one with all of the bounties, that had to have some information on her. Even if she wasn't in it, it probably would say if she was killed by someone in it.

I first had to tell Naruto this news. That I wasn't going to be going to the academy. Or I could tell him later, I decided that I would tell him later. I needed alone time to put my plan into action, but Naruto would be a big part of it.

I had gotten dressed, brushed my hair and teeth. Getting dressed in a darker gray sweater and a purple skirt. I put my hair into two low pigtails and made it out the door, stating, "I'm going to the library." I had closed the door before I could even hear my father's response.

I had walked down to the library and looked towards the librarian who was reading her own fictional book. Stupid woman, what will you ever get from fiction? I'm 8 and I know better than to read fiction. The librarian was a stout, heavyset woman with black hair tied up into a bun and sharp blue eyes. She was pretty I'd say, but for a librarian, she was stupid.

I had made my way over to the ninja section carefully, not wanting to draw any attention to myself, as I wasn't sure if that was exactly allowed. I had made my way there, and I found a variety of books, the section took up the whole isle. Some on chakra, and exercises and stretches, it was a goldmine for training advice when I couldn't get any. I was going to have to remember that.

Although right now I was looking for ninja files. I think there wouldn't be any here, but I didn't see any filing cabinets around, so then the next thing I had to find was the bingo book, and I ask for the files later. I didn't know what the bingo book looked like, so I started at the B's and slowly made my way down the isle in order to find the bingo book. I had looked for about an hour and thirty minutes at this point. Then I finally pulled out the bright orange book, labeled "Bingo Book". I had struck gold.

Of course, the copy was not very updated and from about 3 years ago, but maybe it could help me with figuring out what happened to my mother. I sat down on the floor, still in the ninja isle I opened up the book and scrolled through the table of contents for a possible name. Not finding my mom's name in the book, I looked through all of the contents of the book. Names upon names, along with bounties, high amounts of bounties. That interested me, I would get back on that later.

Although, no matter what I looked through, I could not find anything on my mom. Scrolling through the pages for her name, I couldn't find anything, not even for Kyu. I rolled my eyes, rather irritated at the moment. I would work for training for now. I wanted to work on my chakra control, as ninjutsu was probably the best thing to have down pat. I nodded to myself and went over to chakra.

I looked through the books and pulled out the thickest one on chakra control and techniques. Alright, this should work, I thought to myself as I pulled it off of the shelves. I then looked at exercises and training techniques. I pulled out the thickest one, and headed over to the desk, also deciding to take the bingo book with me so that I could look through it more.

I walked up to the librarian and set the books onto the desk, the librarian looking down at me. "Are you sure you're allowed to take those books out?" She questions, raising her brow at me.

"Well, I am training to become a ninja, so I need to be able to do these things," I state, crossing my arms as I look up at her. I pull out my wallet that I had brought with me, and pulled out my library card, looking up at the woman.

"You're only 8, read some fantasy instead of training so much," she responded, pointing over to the children's section of the library.

"Well I don't want to read stupid fiction books, they don't do anything to help you!" I state, crossing my arms, rolling my eyes at the librarian, who rolls her eyes back at me.

"Fiction helps develop your imagination, and a kid you age needs one instead of just training. There's too many uptight kids out there..." She states.

"Well then, I guess I'm just one of those uptight kids that don't read fiction," I state with a nod.

"Fine, you win this time, don't hurt yourself kid," she sates, checking out the books and handing them to me. "Bring them back in 2 weeks," she states, and I grab my books and leave that stupid library.

Walking home, I spot Naruto knocking on my door. I wonder why my dad hadn't opened it yet. Walking over towards the blonde boy with the heavy books in tow I tilt my head at Naruto. Really wanting to hurry up, wanting to get inside quickly, as my arms were starting to burn. "Suzuki! Where have you been for the past few days, you've been cooped up inside your house all week, and we're going to the ninja academy in a few days!"

"I know we are going in a few days, well actually you. Just you, I'm not allowed." I state, now suddenly being reminded of not being allowed to become a ninja.

"What? Really? Why not?!" Naruto cried out sadly, disappointment filling his blue eyes.

"My stupid dad says that I'm not allowed to," I state, rolling my eyes at the thought.

"So, you're not going to become a ninja?" He questions, tilting his head.

"Oh, I am going to become a ninja, don't you worry. It's just going to take a while," I state with a grin.


	4. Chapter 4

I had gone through so much training within the past few starting weeks of school. I had gone to school in the mornings, up until 11 (the ninja in the academy got out later). I didn't really pay attention in classes and just practiced my chakra control. I knew I had to practice every second I could just so that I could prove to my father that I could do it, I could make it, I could survive. I needed a training ground to work so I had done exercises in training ground 12.

I had chosen this training ground for 2 reasons. First of all, from what I have noticed, no one really comes to it. Second of all, no one can kick me out, because it is a public area, as it has the KIA stone on the grounds themselves.

One day, while I was out on my escapades of training, I was taking a break, sitting on a stump drinking from my water canteen. I had then seen a man, with his hands in his pockets as he stood above the stone slouched over. This was a common sight, as many people have lost their comrades in battle. Although, I had recognized this man from the back of his head. With fluffy silver hair, that seemed to defy gravity. I ha known him as the copy-cat ninja. This was my chance! My chance to get a teacher. As I do believe that there are some regulations, that a ninja could take on a student as an apprentice and they would become honorary ninja if their teacher deemed them good enough, and they would become genin with the class in their age group.

I could have a teacher, all I need to do, is get my dad to agree to it. I knew for a fact that it would take a lot of work to do it, but first I had to ask the ninja himself, or beg him. Either way works. I then walked over to the man, and stood over to the side of him, waiting for him to notice me. He probably has already, but I want the best chances I can get with having him as my teacher, which means to only annoy him when asking for him to teach me.

So I had soon next to him, staring up at him curiously, wonder which names he was looking at. It didn't say anything but recent stuff in there, nothing really about team mates. There were his signature jutsu's, like the Chidori, and his Sharingan. He then finally looked over to me solemnly, "is there something you need?" He questions gently, his one black eye piercing through my soul in a way.

"Can you uh.. teach me how to be a ninja?" I question, trying to look as cute as possible. It probably wouldn't work, but it was worth a shot. He simply stared at me blankly.

"No," he stated bluntly, pulling out an orange book, and began to walk away.

"Hey! You listen to me! I want to be a ninja, and my dad won't let me!-" He cuts me off.

"Then maybe you should listen to your father because he probably has a good reason," he states before he continues walking off.

"I don't care, I've been training, and I want to become a ninja!" I exclaim, glaring at him with sharp green eyes. I stamped my foot as he ignored me and continued walking off. I run up to him and stood infront of me, "Oi- copycat, listen to me!" I shouted up at him. He raised a brow at me, surprised I knew his epiphet.

"I am listening, and you're being an annoying little brat," he states calmly, still reading his book.

"Please, is there any way that you'll teach me, I'll do anything!" I state, begging him at this point. "My dad won't let me be a ninja to help my friend become Hokage.. because my mom died.." I sighed a bit, time to hit him with the guilt trip. I don't actually care if Naruto becomes Hokage, but if he does, he is my best friend and I'll have a lot of power at my fingertips. If he doesn't, well then I still have allies. All that means is that I failed in helping him become hokage. My mother, I don't care, it's honestly making it a pain to become a ninja.

He stared down at me, raising a brow. "Anything you say? Well then leave me alone and go to the academy like all of the other students," he states, walking around me.

I jump in front of him again, "Nope! Not listening to you, plus I'm probably too advanced for the academy anyways," I brag, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes.

"Too advanced huh?" He chuckles, leaning down to get to my level, using the stupid baby voice my dad uses all the time. "Maybe, then if you are "too advanced" " he used air quotes around the too advanced part, "then you should be able to take these bell's off of me?"

I furrow my brows in confusion to what he had said, as he rummages through his backpack and pulls out a bell, and holds it infront of my face. I swipe out my hand to grab it, but he yanks it out of my vision before I could even graze it.

"If you get these bells, then, I'll consider training you," he states staring down at me.

"Hmph," I state, turning my back on him and walking away. This was going to be easy. I had waited until he was a suitable distance away, doing a few pushups, staring in his direction. Then once he was a good distance away, I got up and walked towards him.

I had to figure out where he lived first. That should be the easiest part, I'm pretty sure. I had followed him through town, but he was doing nothing, he was just walking around looking at stuff. He had gotten lunch at one point, but he did nothing! I was honestly getting sick and tired of him.

It was when he had finally sat down for dinner when he had noticed me. Or chose to acknowledge me. "So, following me huh?" He questioned, raising a brow at me.

'Yeah.." I wasn't going to deny it, I was very clearly following him. He patted the seat next to him, as if asking me to sit down next to him. I wasn't sure if I should trust him, but he seemed nice, except for the fact that he was very blunt, plus he was loved by the other shinobi here, so it should be fine.

"So what's your name, kid?" He questions, looking at me. We were sitting infront of a food cart. It was selling dumplings.

"My name is Suzuki," I state, looking at him. Seeing the silver bells with red strings attached to them hanging off of his belt.

"I can't teach you that well Suzuki, I'm not that good with mentoring," he had explained, looking down at me. "Although, I'll only help you if you can get these bells." He had explained. To me it sounded like a deal that wasn't that good in my end. I probably would never be able to get those bells in my lifetime to be honest.

"So then, teach me now, and do the bells later?" I question, giving Kakashi a bit of a grin.

Kakashi laughs a bit before looking down at me, and answering bluntly, "no." He sighs a bit. "I think I may know someone who could possibly teach you.." He explained.

"You do?" I question happily, looking at him with excitement.

"Yeah, You've probably read about him, Takeo , he is known as Black Cat, Broken Mirror, ecetera," Kakashi explained. He tapped his chin a bit.

"I know him a little bit, and his method's aren't very good, but he's probably be willing.. if you annoyed him enough," He laughed.

"There's also Gai, although, he is very.. extra." He stated plainly, shuddering a bit.

"Well Kakashi, despite my option's, you're my best bet," I state with a bit of a sigh. "I've read on both of those, and they're just not what I'm looing for, I may look into Takeo for future reference, and maybe even Gai, but I want you to teach me," I explained, looking up at the man.

"Well, tough luck for you," Kakashi states, rolling his eyes a bit.

I growl, and roll my eyes before getting up out of my seat and walking away. I see Kakashi turn towards the owner of the shop, place his order, and then begin to read his orange book. What is he even reading?

Once I know that he is thoroughly distracted, I slip into an alleyway, and decide, that maybe the problem is, is that I am not hiding my chakra? Although, the thing is, I don't know how to do that exactly. I know how to enhance my chakra and push it outwards, but not hide it.

This was going to be a bit of a problem.

I hid in the ally way, and looked out of it and saw Kakashi was still reading while waiting on his dumplings. I then decided to concentrate on the blood flowing through my veins. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I imaged the swirling blue in my chest and doused the flame with deep breaths.

I felt my chakra begin to hide away in my body and I felt strange. I didn't have the warm blanket constantly around me. I felt bare and cold. I then looked out of the alleyway and saw Kakashi eating his dumplings. I had a wobbly grasp on my chakra and I did not want him to notice me.

I watched him eat carefuly, and if he ever looked in my direction I always hid away back into my alleyway. I then saw him get up and begin to walk away. Now it was time to move out. I slipped out of the alleyway and I followed him. I walked carefully, in an attempt to act cool. I burned holes into the back of his head, trying not to loose sight of his fluffy gray hair.

I followed him, and watched him walk into a house. Spotting his address, 546 on Yukino Street. It was a small cream colored house that looked very traditional. Once I had remembered what the house looked like I decided to head out for the night. I knew his address I just needed to know his schedule.

I had watched Kakashi for 3 weeks now. I hadn't spoken to Naruto for so long. I had figured out how to cook on my own. I learned that he is typically off on Saturday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Those were the prime days to steal the bells, as Kakashi was actually there for me to steal the bells.

Then, tonight was my night to strike. His friend, Takeo had gone over that night and when Takeo goes over for the night, there's going to be a lot of alcohol, and Kakashi would be drunk, so Kakashi would be sleeping like a baby. So tonight was the best night to strike.

It was late at night, and I had snuck out of my house at about 3 AM and made it to his at about 3:30. I had watched Takeo stumble away from Kakashi's house for about 30 minutes mumbe nonsense to himself until 4 AM . This was a tedious process. I then snuck across his yard and opened the window to his Kitchen, which he always forgets to lock because he always kept it open.

I had made it through the window carefully, trying not to make a sound. I had to be very careful with this. If Kakashi woke up, while he was also still hungover, he could attack me, not knowing who I am. Plus he has only seen me about once, and other times he caught me stalking him. I slipped through the window, hiding my chakra once I was inside.

I had made it inside, standing on the counter with bare feet, I felt bad about I, but having bare feet was quieter than any other shoes I had (I had left my shoes and socks outside). I had even clipped my nails before this so there was no way for them for scratch against the floor, as I had them down as far as I could get them.

I had to make no sound, and if I heard one sound I had to hide. I had first gone into the bathroom, because maybe he had used the bathroom, and then he just changed there. So, sneaking around, I opened and closed the doors, looking for a possible bathroom. I then found it and gently closed the door behind me. Turning on the lights, I looked around for a laundry basket and spotted it, digging through it a bit. I also noted his shampoo and conditioner in my head. Although I did not hear the familiar chiming of bells that let me know Kakashi was here.

I then shut off the lights, and closed the door behind me, I then have to look for his room. Based off of how my house is set up, I would prefer the room closest to the bathroom. I then opened the closest door on the left. I took in a deep breath and open the door. I spotted a broom, but I saw it slipping inside the closet. It was falling and falling.

I gently caught it as it fell, nearly to he ground, knowing it would have caused a loud clatter. I place it back down and close the door. Then I heard the broom smack against the door. I cringed at the sound, and then I ran into the livingroom. I had figured out how to run quietly while stalking Kakashi, and some other people. I've even practiced pick-pockting.

No matter how illegal it is, it helped with training, and it was only smaller things, like grain. I had practiced blending in with the crowd, by stealing fruits and vegetables from shops. Even a piece of jewelry once and a while. I was able to blend in, and not make a sound. So I ran to the livingroom, running with my heel on the floor first and carefully placing the rest of my foot down.

There was a giant pile of blankets on the couch that I hadn't noticed before. Probably where Takeo had slept. I had dove under the covers, and began to snore a bit while underneath the cover of the blankets.

I had heard footsteps, he had turned on the lights in the hallway and looked around, then opened up the closet and saw the broom fall out. "Must have slipped.." He stated quietly to himself, and made his way back to his bedroom. He had shut off the lights in the hallway before going back to bed.

I took a deep breath while under the blankets. They had smelled like alcohol and sweat. There was also a bunch of long, black hairs throughout the blankets. There was also for some reason a brown paper bag on the table that had a smiley-face on it. I wonder why that was?

After about 10 minutes or so I slipped out from under the blankets, glad to be out from them. I then looked on the table and saw plenty of beers littering them. While I was here I could try some, as my dad would never let me. I took one big swig and swallowed. Then I nearly threw up. Holding my mouth shut, that tasted so foul I wanted to show up. Coughing quietly to myself, spitting out all I could.

I then got over my first taste of alcohol, rather quickly, and I made my way towards the hallway. Poking my head in I saw a light in the bathroom door. This may be my chance. I quickly made my way into his bedroom, leaving the door a crack open. I then looked around the dark room swiftly. I then heard the toilet flush and I dove under his bed. I heard him wash his hands and then I heard the bathroom door shut and heard him shuffle across the floor.

I watched his feel shuffle, and then I heard the bells, they were licking my ears with their ringing. After about 10 minutes, and I could heard Kakashi's gentle snores, I had crawled out from under the bed, and poked my eyes out from above the bed. I spotted the bells, hanging from his pants, dang, this man sleeps in jeans. Maybe I don't want him to be my teacher.

I had reached out to grab the bells, then I had felt my heart drop as his hand grabbed my wrist. "Good job, you failed." He stated bluntly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors note: Heyo everyone this chapter may contain mentions of things that could trigger someone, I will place a warning where it is needed.**

**Either way if you have any other questions, comments, or criticism you could give please post it in the reviews. **

I paused and stared at Kakashi wide eyed as I heard him say this. The words "you failed" ringing out throughout my mind. I stared at his one obsidian black eye through the darkness, the light of the moon seeping in through the window the only thing guiding me to this sight. He was still gripping my tiny wrist, and his tone was gentle yet deadly. I was actually scared. I had taken a deep breath. How did he wake up? I had been planning this for months.

"Suzuki, you did a good job with infiltration, but I knew you were here the moment you made it through the window," Kakashi explained, letting go of my wrist. "The problem that you've had is that you hid your chakra too late. It is strange if you feel an approaching chakra that randomly disappears," he explained.

"But I infiltrated your house? Then I snuck into your room, and evaded you, why did this not work?" I cried out staring at the silver haired man. I felt a pain in my heart. I really did want to train and become stronger, why was everyone trying to stop me? I puffed out my cheeks and stared at Kakashi with tired eyes.

"And, you didn't complete the mission, if this were an actual mission, you'd be dead." Kakashi states bluntly staring at me. I felt my heart burn even more. "Now, how about you go home?" He asks rhetorically. I roll my eyes and walk out of the front door and make my way home, glaring at the ground below me.

**Warning Here**

I had checked the time on my way out and it was only 3:30. I walked with soft footsteps, as I have trained to do this for a long time now. I heard all of the sounds around me. I knew that as a ninja I had to be alert. I hear the footsteps, laughter, and belches of drunken people from a local bar in Konoha. It was around closing time from what I knew. They never really bothered me.

Although tonight seemed to be different. Tonight, I heard the group dissipate into their homes as usual. There was always one left behind, although this night there were 3 of the men left behind as the followed me back home. I felt fear grow in my heart as I walked a bit further ahead. Not liking how this was going at the moment. I look a deep breath and walked a bit faster. I never really saw what they looked like. Although I remember that they all have relatively deep voices, and they walk with heavy footsteps. They clearly weren't shinobi.

They had reeked of alcohol to be honest. They were all drunk. They weren't ninja, and I was training to be one, so I should be able to take them on. I nodded to myself but would avoid conflict if necessary. I didn't bring any weapons with me, because if Kakashi did lash out at me, then I didn't want my instincts to kick in and draw a weapon. Which would make the situation worse; as Kakashi would probably think I was an actual intruder.

So, I had continued on my walk tensely. In my nights stalking Kakashi, and actually spending some time in the outside world, I had realized the layout of Konoha more. It was a large city, with a bunch of marketplaces littering the city. There were different sectors of the town. Although the route that I had typically taken was a sort of straightforward path down a marketplace. There was no place to hide. As the seconds passed by, I became more and more afraid. I realized the position I was in more and more. I took deep breaths as I walked, making sure hat I have enough oxygen to scream and or run away. Although there is no way in hell I am screaming. Screaming out in fear or pain is a sign of weakness and I am not weak, because I am going to be a ninja.

Although soon I felt a sweaty palm on my shoulder. I stopped in my tracks and didn't look behind me, scared of what I could possibly find. I didn't move, because then that was to initiate battle. I wanted to run. I wanted to punch this man in the face and run as far as I could. Although, I couldn't do that now, I was in his grasp now.

I bit my tongue, not want to scream as I was dragged away.

**Warning End – it's still pretty dark after this**

I had woken up cold and covered in blood and muck. I hurt everywhere. My body burned and bruised. I could hear the morning sounds of the day and I heaved deep breaths. My clothes were ripped apart and scattered all around me. Tears were welled up in my eyes and my jaw hurt like I was punched in the mouth.

I pulled my clothes back on me weakly. It was too early for anyone to notice me; the sun hadn't even risen up from the horizon. I could just see the light blues glazing into the sky from my place in the alleyway.

I stood up on weak, wobbly legs. Although the weakness wasn't from the usual soreness of training. It was from bruises and blood then fell down my legs. I knew what had happened. I had read it after my father gave me a book on the dangers of being a kunoichi. I never thought that I would ever experience this, and I didn't want this, I was scared, and I just wanted to go home. I took my first step forwards and took a deep breath with my legs already hurting, but I continued my way back home.

I clenched my jaw. I decided that I would never admit what happened last night. If I admitted it, that would just prove I am weak. Which I am not weak. I would never admit that I am weak. I don't think I have many flaws to be perfectly honest. I'm just thrown into random circumstances and bad things just happen to me.

That is why I decided to stand up instead of quivering in fear. I wanted to. I wanted to curl up in a ball on top of a pile of garbage and cry myself through the day until someone found me. Although I didn't want to do that. I wanted to prove that I was not weak. So here I am, walking into the sunrise of the dawn.

I had soon made it home, after that grueling walk home into the sunset. I hated sunsets. I hated Kakashi. He was the reason this happened. I hated my dad; he was this reason this happened to me. This was not my fault. I hated alcohol; it was the reason why this happened. If those men weren't drinking this wouldn't have happened.

There was no one I could trust. I opened the door. Just to find my dad sleeping on the couch, he looked disheveled. I guess I was gone for the night. I wasn't going to tell him what happened. No way in hell. No, I was going to say that I trained throughout the night.

**Another warning here, although it's lesser than the first**

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a knife out of the drawer. They were sharp, as my dad sharpened them every day after preparing meals. I grabbed a small peeling knife. This should do. I went into the bathroom and set a towel on the floor. I then dug the knife into my inner thighs. I stabbed and stabbed deeply into my legs.

Soon enough blood was pooling down onto the floor below me. The bottom of my feet felt so warm with blood. I cleaned the knife and hid it under the sink. The peeling knife was rarely used in the house so it could be misplaced for a bit. I then ignored cleaning up the mess on the floors and stumbled into my room and fell into my bed.

**Warning end**

I had woken up feeling vet wet and dizzy in my bed. I then remembered what happened this night. I then froze in my bed and clutched my blankets. Not caring about the discomfort of my bed at the moment. The morning was still early, and my heart was pounding. I was scared I didn't want to go outside today. I didn't want to see anyone. With that thought I heard my door swing open and I let out a frightful squeak and hid under my bed. "Suzuki?" He questioned out worriedly.

Seeing the top of my head poked out of the covers my father lets out a sigh of relief. "I was so worried! Now where were you last night young lady!" As soon as his worry was over, he was instantly scolding me. I felt my chest ball up even more as he yelled at me.

"I was out training," I stated from under the cover's fearfully. I'm guessing he hasn't seen the bathroom yet.

"Well young lady gets out of bed! I need to talk to you properly!" He snaps, pulling the blankets off of me. My heart screamed; he's going to see me like this. I grabbed the blankets and pulled them down onto me. He was going to see me, and yell at me more if he saw my bloodstained bed. It was better he yells at me now than later. I had completely forgotten about the bathroom at this point.

"Young lady listens to me right now- "I cut him off.

"I'm tired, leave me alone." I bluntly stated, staring at him with dead, green eyes. He gave me a glare.

"Fine, I will, but as soon as you're out of that bed I am going to give you a holler!" He stated and made his way out of my room. I heard him close my door as I slid out of my bed and onto my floor. My legs felt weak and wobbly, but I had to get out of there or else he would see the bathroom then yell at me again!

I heaved my window open and slipped outside. Slipping a bit on the ground and stumbling onto my knees but standing back up. I was outside, and my dad couldn't yell at me. Now what could I do? There was no where for me to go. No one loved me, my own dad yelled at me right after what happened and was going to again because the bathroom was soaked in blood.

I had to take a deep breath. Maybe Naruto, no he would ask too many questions. Kakashi? No, I don't think he wanted to associate with me after last night. I had no one. I couldn't even go over to the Inuzuka estate because too many questions would be asked there. I had nothing.


End file.
